WHY MEN NEED HELP

Hello, my lovelies.

This was taken in the lovely Cheshire town of Wilmslow last week. I’m a regular visitor, usually with one or both of my daughters where we enjoy a coffee at a French cafe people watching before surfing through Benetton. We’ve shopped at the Benetton store in Wilmslow for over twenty years. And if you just happen to be passing feel free to pop in and say hello because the people who run it deserve a big gold star for customer service and buying choices. The stock is always fantastic. Awesomesauce.

Speaking of sartorial choices, a recent survey came to my attention a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, and this is true, fifty per cent of the men responding to the survey admitted to being dressed by their wife, partner or significant other. For example, ‘helping them choose which tie went with which shirt.’

Hmm. I can hear many of you sputtering over your coffee, ‘Nonsense!’ I hear you cry.

Well, I’ve got news for you. I don’t let mine out of the door unless I’ve cast a wary eye over what he’s wearing. You see mine likes to wear his ‘favourite’ shirt/jeans/cords/shoes etc., until they’re threadbare which is fine as long as I’m not with him. BUT when I go out with him, he’d better be polished, coordinated and a picture of sartorial elegance and that includes zipping up his fly.

Why is it a man can forget to zip up his fly? I remember once walking down the high street in our town and out of the corner of my eye I realised his gate was open. ‘ZIP!’ I hissed and walked in front of him so that he could do it unobtrusively. Can’t call me a passive-aggressive – I’m aggressive all the way.

Anyway, I asked my good friend Mags about this. Mags is a card carrying feminist. Did she dress her husband? I wondered. Β She rolled her eyes and said, ‘Of course I do. I’ve better things to do with my time than argue with him about choices. I make it easy and don’t give him a choice. If I left it up to him he’d look like reject from Oxfam.’

‘That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?’ I said. Her husband’s a big pussy cat and lovely.

She snorted. ‘I draw the line at matching anoraks. Those woollen hats with aΒ pompom irritate the hell out of me too.’

Oookay. Since I’ve been giving the survey much thought (instead of editing the hard bits of Run, Rosie, Run) I reckon being married is why men can’t be bothered. Once they’ve snared won the woman of their heart’s desire, most married men care about their clothes the way they might look after bird seed: with a total lack of care and attention.

However, there is one part of Hugo’s wardrobe that certainly claims his attention. Gilets and cargo pants. He has duck down gilets, quilted, cotton, waterproof and many more and in many colour ways and the reason for that is they have plenty of pockets. It’s the pockets that do it for him. A pocket for his cell phone. A pocket for his keys. A pocket for his wallet. A pocket for loose change. A special pocket for pens. A pocket for his camera lens. A pocket for his glasses. A secret pocket for his secret cigars. (Supposed to have kicked that habit, darling.)

I blame David Beckham for the unfortunate rise in popularity of the woollen cardigan among middle-aged men who should know better. It is not a good look, guys. David is built like Adonis and as much as it pains me to tell you this. You do not.

So, guys, do you allow your wife to dress you?

Girls, do you dress your husband?

You know I adore hearing from you!

Christine

PS Reckless Nights In Rome is at varying levels in the top twenty in iTunes across many countries and sales of A Stormy Spring are rocking too. Click on the iTunes link on the top right hand corner of the blog to get your free copy of Reckless! Enjoy!

51 thoughts on “WHY MEN NEED HELP

  1. My hubby and I don’t go out much, but when we do, I’ve been known to give him suggestions. Not all the time, but on occasion.

    Now, this Wisconsin girl has to ask, what is a Gilet? I think I know based on your diatribe (LOL) but want to confirm my guess.

  2. Lucky you, we’ll I use to n then he started returning…like three pr shoes, etc. He owns one suite for over twenty five years, ridiculous. He does wear the designer shirts I’ve bought him. He’s a first born, way particular.

  3. Never gave it much thought but now I’m realizing that almost everything my husband wears is some variation of blue, (1) because he has blue eyes and (2) it’s his favorite color. I do have to veto choices occasionally when he wants to wear two shades together that just don’t go. I usually get an argument because in his mind, if they are both blue it shouldn’t matter that one is leaning toward purplish and the other is closer to teal.

    I, too, am curious about the gillet.

  4. And what, my British friend, is a body warmer? IA sleeveless jacket? A jacket?

    Count yourself lucky Hugo wears clothes with lots of pockets. My husband hangs onto his wallet, but he’s always asking me to put his keys and such in my purse. Gah! I tote around too much stuff.

    Whenever I comment here, I fear that words that are innocent in American English turn filthy. You would tell me, wouldn’t you?

  5. Socks with sandals, shirts tucked in so tight you could bounce quarters off his chest, belt accessories worthy of a super hero–my husband does not care so much about clothes. On the positive side, he will let me buy him clothes and he will wear them. πŸ™‚ And another positive–if you need a flashlight, nail clippers, or a utility knife–he’s got them all attached to his belt!

  6. Great post, CC. Giggling still!

    The best thing about the last man in my life is that he dressed himself and looked good. I don’t think there was a single cringe worthy moment in our three years together. On the other hand, I couldn’t get away with heading out with him in my comfiest yoga pants and cozy fleece jacket πŸ™‚

  7. What a funny and true post! I’ve always found that complimenting a man on the clothes you like will get him to wear them more often without forcing him or taking away his choice. Especially if you use the word sexy or hot. It reminded me of my best friend’s hubby who wears whatever is on the top layer of the floor and also leaves the house without combing his hair. The last time he showed up where we work, my bestie said he looked like a homeless man and was very embarassed. So, for some men picking out clothes is good. For some, it just makes them work harder to dress horribly. My dad always gets back at my step-mom with hideous Hawaiian shirts, especially in the winter. Talk about public humiliation!

  8. I’m SO glad I wasn’t the only one wondering about a gilet. You also described it as a body warmer…not sure about those. But I do still think I’m picturing the right thing…what I’d know around these parts as something like a fishing vest, with tons of pockets, just like you described.

  9. Haha! I’ll admit to helping my man. He asks me if things match all the time. And I’ll buy him clothes I think will look good. What kills me is when he has a number of new shirts or a new pair of jeans and he continues to wear the old, worn-out ones. Why are men so stuck in their ruts?

    I believe we call your gilet a VEST. πŸ˜‰

    • Your man sounds like mine. When I buy him new stuff he likes to keep it ‘good’ and wear his old worn-out ones too. Too funny.

      Okay – a VEST! There you go, who’d have thought it. A vest over here is something you wear under a shirt and usually thermal for winter.

  10. My husband is fairly good at this because he worked in a highly professional environment before we got married. That said, when it comes to casual clothes, there have been times where I’ve sent him back upstairs to change because the shirt he picked is just too hideous to go out in public.

  11. Sorry I am late on this! We headed out of town…
    Danny does his own dressing, but he would tell you that I do occasionally send him back to redress! Ties aren’t worn here in the West. Business men in suits really stood out in LA when we visited and I asked. The man answered that he like most men dressed that way, were from out of town and most likely from back east!
    What’s a gilet?

  12. OK. So you dress your husband. What’s the big deal? And flys do not have to be zipped if a man is wearing underwear; which we do not want to do either – – – but you make us. And farthermore, as per Wikipedia: Color blindness will be expressed in males with a higher probability than in females because males only have one X chromosome (in females, a functional gene on only one of the two X chromosomes is sufficient to yield the needed photopigments).
    So it is all in our genes, especially when our fly is zipped.
    By the way, your post (this post) is 100% true, factual and right on the money. But do we guys care? Hell no. We have our favorite shirts and our speedo swim suits – – – and our favorite underwear that is worn so thin in looks like Queen Ann’s Lace.
    But we do love it that you care about us so much that you will make us wear pretty cloths and show us off.
    Enjoyed this post immensly(sic? – – – enjoyed it lots).
    Don’t blame me, blame Susie! She sent me.
    I will follow you anywhere (please, no restraining orders, my wall is already full of them).

  13. Hi, fellow party goer from Susie’s blog. Well, my boyfriend definitely asks for my advice, however, I ask him just as much. I’ve got to give him credit, he has a knack for fashion. If I think something’s a little off with my outfit, even if I don’t say anything, he’ll pick up on it. At the end of the day, some men really just don’t care, and some women too. I get it, most of the time, we have bigger fish to fry, (however, it doesn’t hurt to look good while we do it.)

  14. Hello CC… you’ll never guess who sent me. Only once. And funny you should mention Benetton, as that’s where it happened. In the early 80’s, my wife, at the time, and her friend went through a Benetton phase. No trip to San Francisco was complete without a stop to see Mr Benetton and his many colors. My friend and I would lavishly dress our wives, and would be rewarded by a fashion show back at the hotel. On one occasion, Annie insisted I buy a particular shirt. I still have it. I’ve always dressed myself, and the ladies too… I have impeccable taste.

    p.s. I think you were a little overly dramatic with the whole ‘fly’ thing.

  15. Great post. I found you from Susie’s blog. I’m a man and yes, my wife dresses me, when she can. Apparently we have different ideas on what matches. We still fight about my opinion that everything matches with khaki. Oh well.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s