NORSE GOD WITH A BIG HAMMER

 


 Find him at Debra Kristi’s blog here: http://debrakristi.wordpress.com/

 

Knew that would get your attention!

How can it possibly be back-to-school week already? I mean, I don’t know about you lot but where the hell was summer? I feel really, really hard done by.  And you’ll never guess what that epoch of consumer must-haves (Marks & Spencer) has in their stores? Christmas cards – Christmasssssss caaaaards!  I can’t bear it, seriously.

In the UK we’ve had the Queen’s Jubilee and the Olympics and now we’re back to our humdrum lives of too early starts, lunchboxes (try getting them to eat quinoa instead of pasta – go on, you try it!) Buying new shoes that I want them to have with thick soles and laces (not ballet slippers, darling.)  Then the morning school run, sigh. I’ve promised not to drive them to school in my pj’s in case ‘I have an accident and some of their friends see me.’ I’m an owl, not a lark. And I’m back to smelly gym kits and remembering tae Kwando classes and taking ground beef out of the freezer, as I’m doing laundry and loading and unloading the dishwasher. AND the dark nights are already coming in and I didn’t have a proper summer – did I mention summer?

So here’s the thing. About six weeks ago my friend Debra Kristi put out a call for some of her blogging buddies (of which I am one) to help her host a blog tour. Now at first sight Debra appears to be perfectly normal and, err, sane if you know what I’m say’n?

I mean, she’s a wonderful wife, the most amazing mom and a writer who lives in her own little world of mythology has an awesome imagination. And Debra happens to have the hots for Thor, the God of Thunder.

Anyway, after saying of course I would be deeeeelighted to host her on my blog I forgot all about it happy in the knowledge that the wonderfully organized Debra would send me her post and I’d put it on my blog and that would be that. Sorted.

But no, dear friends, because two weeks ago I received a face book message from crazy the lovely Debra saying that Thor was going on a tour and since I was his first stop could she please have my postal address. Hmmmmm. Wracking my small brain I tried to recall just what it was I’d agreed to and nothing dinged. So I went back and said ‘Run this past me again, Debra, what is it you want me to do?’

Apparently the God of Thunder was going on a personal tour and coming to my house in leafy Cheshire, England, first. What??? How could this be? Chris Helmsworth is coming to my house. Surely she jests! I was trying to think where I could stash Hugo somewhere far, far away. When I re-read her message and realized the Sex God of Thunder was not the drool worthy Chris, but a plastic action figure.

That’ll teach me to read the small print before I say yes to anything.

Anyhow, last Wednesday a cardboard box was delivered from the United States of America. (Immediately Hugo demanded to know ‘what the hell I’d bought now.’ Cheek.) And since my son was eating bacon rolls at the time, he demanded to know what was in the box. So I opened it and out came Thor, God of Thunder, with a big hammer. When you squeeze his legs together his hammer goes up and down. I will not tell you what the ribald comments were because this is a G rated blog (most of the time.)

Can I just say at this point that I write romance and if I was writing about a Norse hunk with a big hammer, well, I’m sure you don’t need me to paint you a picture.

After howls of gleeful laughter the males in my family went on a hunt for a beast for Thor to conquer before he embarks on the next leg of his journey.

So, here are a couple of photos of Thor in my back garden. And the boys have titled them – Thor’s Rumble In The Jungle.

It’s not often I’m speechless, but Debra’s done what no one has done before. Not only that, to take those photos I had to lie on my back in wet grass holding my breath that Thor and the dinosaur didn’t topple over and then discovered I’d lain in duck poop. Thanks Debra!

Thor’s next stop is the zany Lisa Hall-Wilson in Canada. This boy’s getting about! I’m hoping that Thor finds lurrrrve, but that’s just me. (Shame I didn’t have any Barbie or Cindy dolls, now that would have been fun!)

Do you guys have crazy friends?

Have they ever asked you to do something insane – and did you do it?

And what were your favorite action figure toys?

Mine was Cindy.

You know I adore hearing from you – and this should be a doozy!

114 thoughts on “NORSE GOD WITH A BIG HAMMER

    • Haha! Hello you little superstar! He most definitely does have a big hammer. Remember being a genius is but one step away from insanity 😉 I adore Debra, she’s made me laugh this week when I really, really needed it 🙂

  1. You’re welcome. 😀 Sounds like the boys had fun. My kids get a big kick out of it. Enjoyed the post immensely! Mine will be up after midnight. It will direct people your way. Thanks for playing, Christine. You’re a good sport.

    • Stacey Joy Netzel is in the house! Woot! It’s a clever idea isn’t it, Stacey? How’s the life of a full time writer? Is the muse whispering sweet nothings into your shell-like? Loved ‘Lost in Italy’ – a thrilling read.

      • Thanks, CC! And yes, very clever idea. 🙂

        Not much writing done yet for this new full-time writer, but I’m getting lots of ‘business’ done. And salsa. Not the dance, but the tomato kind. 7 quarts and 7 pints today and I think I can safely say my canning is DONE for the year.

        Tomorrow there will be writing!

        • Debra, the thought of trying to come up with something even half as entertaining as Christine scares the bejeezes out of me. Duck poop is very hard to live up to and I’m not naturally funny like she is. Or insane, I’m not sure which it is. (whoops, did I say that out loud? Sorry Christine, you know I love you!)

        • Insane is absolutely fine and most would agree 🙂

          Thank you so much for your kind comments.

          This post was literally written off the cuff in fifteen minutes. Which just goes to show we never can tell what will hit the spot. I enjoy blogging a lot more than I used to because it seriously scared the life out of me. What do I have to say that anyone would want to hear?

          And I never try to be funny. People seem to get me, which is lovely. I do appreciate each and every person who comments and most share my crazy view of the world too. God bless them. 🙂

          The key I think is to be yourself and talk to people as you would your friends. It seems to work most of the time. You have a great blog and my jaw hit the floor at the amazing amount of tomato canning you’ve done. I’d poison the family if I tried it. 😉

  2. What a great idea! Like you, I’m feeling half-crazed with the return to school and all those extra-curricular activities. I had to put supper in the oven at 4:00 today to make sure everyone could be fed before we head out the door for soccer practice. But I had a good laugh about Thor. Where can I sign up for him to come to my house? I could do with a Norse god with a big hammer…

  3. OMG, what a hilarious post! I must have been MIA when Debra mentioned her blog tour, but what an awesome idea! I LOVE this. And you are so much fun, Christine. Are you taking tae kwando? Reading your schedule made me dizzy! I agree that the summer flew by way too fast. This is always a sad time of year for me, and my kids are all grown! No more school mornings! Take care!

    • What do you mean I make your head spin. Woman, you are the original multi-tasker! No, my son tinkered with tae kwando. Lovely to see you here. I adored the post about your parent’s 60th wedding anniversary – you get less time for murder!

    • I had to go back and re-read that part, Coleen.

      Bless the Queen. On that barge in the middle of the Thames in a storm. She was freezing. I bet you’re back in the swing of it. Where did the summer go?

    • Hi August,

      I don’t suppose you do have an opinion on action figures. But remember, knowledge is power and you never know when you might need it. I rock? Why, thank you.

      How’s the writing? When’s the book out?

  4. Banging my head to KISS’s God of Thunder (and Rock and Roll!) from 1976.
    Ok, song’s over. Ahhh, the good ole days when being a soldier meant in the KISS Army!
    Anyway, I just thought I’d share that every time Chris Helmsworth and I hang out, I tease him about how all of my women friends have the hots for them, and then he reminds me something about my wife’s “List,” whatever that means. I squeezed legs together about 10 times, but I guess only Thor can lift Thor’s hammer.

    Sorry, what were we talking about?

    • ROFL! Do we need to know how many times you squeeze your legs together? I’m crying here.

      I do not know how I managed before you and Dale came into my life. Hugo just shakes his head in awe at the way Thor lifts his hammer.

    • Debra was the one who did all the paperwork for Thor, God of Thunder. On the box it says ‘An action figure’ to get past customs in the USA because, lets face it, no way would they let a God out of the country. I’ll have to fill out something similar from here in case they think it’s something sinister. What do you suggest I call him?

      And, er, I love playing with plastic toys.

  5. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! *picks self up off floor* *reads more comments* LOLOLOLOLOL!

    Was having a bummed-out evening–got hacked on Twitter today 😦 –and then you came along. You are absolutely delightful, Christine! Too bad about the duck poop though.

    • Oh Noooo, hacked on twitter? You need to put on a really hard password with things like MB3! etc on the end of whatever word you’ve chosen.

      Deeeelighted I cheered you up. Debra did that for me too this week. The duck poop is oily. It doesn’t smell of anything in particular but the washing machine was busy. Yuk! Bleh!

    • Hi Laura!

      Thank you so much for commenting, please feel free to jump in anytime. Thor was a joy to have. Very polite and didn’t leave much of a mess by the time he’d finished with the dinosaur.

        • Ducks are not huge as far as birds go, but boy, do they leave a huge mess. I had to use a stain removal spray before putting my sweatshirt in the wash. 😉

        • Really, Laura?

          This year we had about eight male ducks fighting over a female and the noise never mind the poop was horrendous. They ganged up on another male and were pecking him until he was bloody. Awful. Apparently it was the mating season. They don’t belong to us but to a person who raises Llamas, ducks and geese.

        • The Llamas are fenced in. I had no idea ducks were so aggressive during the mating season. Who’d have thought it? I was brought up in the city, so the death and destruction of mother nature is always a surprise.

  6. My son (19) saw the email subject, so I showed him the blog post. He said you need to each write a short story about Thor’s adventures and then put them all together. I do believe that’s a good idea and you should start writing, Christine. 🙂

    • That’s a good idea, Stacey. Hmm. Deboraaaaaaaah! We could do The Adventures of Thor’s Hammer? Your son is clever. Apparently children take the intelligence gene from the mother. There you go! 🙂

      • I plan on creating a page for Thor’s adventures on my blog where I will post a link to each stop along his little (or not so little)trip. 😀 I mad add some features as I get the time and ideas come to me. It should be fun.

  7. Oh Christine, what do you get yourself into? I can just imagine you on the ground amongst all the duck poop. And what were you doing playing around with Thor’s legs, never mind his hammer? In front of your son and husband, no less. Did you not have a Ken doll when you were younger? Seriously Christine, I thought Hugo was your action figure. This is too much. ROFL !!!!!

    How did I miss getting involved with this one? There’s no telling what will happen after this. Thor will never be the same!

    Do send me a message and let me know how you’re doing! 🙂

    Karen
    xo

    • I was not permitted to have a Ken doll since my parents thought it might give me ideas. They were right 🙂

      I’d no idea Thor’s legs would do that with the hammer until my son showed me. Haha – Hugo is my action figure – what are you like, woman?

      There’s plenty of time to get involved in this – just pop over to Debra’s blog and she’ll pencil you in.

      Busy with family this week – birthday etc.

  8. OMG. I am liking you all more and more. Hilarious stuff.

    My action doll was the Six Million Dollar Man, with bionic action sound. Yes, I confiscated the girl next door’s Barbies… But we won’t get into that here. Anyways, he was eclipsed when I got the Star Wars Action Figures, Millenium Falcon, and X-Wing. You gotta prioritize.

    Fun post!

    • Thank you J. How’s the twitter virgin? Please follow this lovely guy and wonderful writer on twitter @jlawrencewriter. Be gentle with him, he knows not what he does!

      Steve Austin? Yea! And the Millenium Falcon – Yea!

      Thank you for stopping by, don’t be shy!

    • OMG! I loved the Six Million Dollar Man. You know what was super cool to have? The Bionic Bigfoot! That way they could fight. ;D OH, Oh! Better than that was my 12″ Han Solo. He was hot! So hot I still have him. I let my husband look at him – sometimes. Ha! Nice to meet you, J.

    • Natalie!

      I had tons of outfits for Cindy too and boots and shoes and bags. Thor would have been a great boyfriend for her – a real man – not like the metrosexual Ken doll. If I remember correctly, Ken did not have a hammer or anything else. Poor Ken think of all the fun he missed.

    • Was it Cindy that had the house with the working lights and radio? I loved that thing so much! I remember my grandma telling me when I got it for Christmas that I would lose all the silverwear. Never did. Thanks for joining the tour, Natalie!!!

  9. So sorry you were all duck poopy, but the pictures turned out great! I’ve been patiently waiting for Thor to visit my house, this is such a fun tour for him. Did he eat fish and chips while visiting with you? I have tons of Barbies, he’s going to be in plastic female body parts heaven!

    Have fun with all your back-to-school madness! Quinoa? You’re a domestic goddess.

    • LOL! ‘He’s going to be in plastic female body parts heaven!’

      You kill me, Tameri. No we didn’t feed him. Ooops!

      Apparently Quinoa is a healthy alternative. Try telling that to a boy! You should have seen his face.

      Domestic goddess? Me? You jest!

  10. OMG!!! SERIOUSLY…..cannot stop laughing. Even my dogs are freaked out. Tears running down my face.
    Glorious post, CC. Can always count on you to keep things interesting and the blood flowing (grins wickedly).
    Poor Thor doesn’t know what hit him, or what he’s in for. This tour promises to be not only memorable but unforgettable.
    Believe me, my Ken and Barbie (I also kidnapped my brothers’G.I. Joes) had steamy romance going on that was probably scandalous in the day. Lol
    Thanks for making my day.

    • Helllooooo, Jo,

      How are you? And more to the point, how is your mother? A fractured hip is no picnic.

      I remember GI Joe – should have got one of those for Cindy. See? That’s why we write romance. We were indoctrinated too early by Mattel 🙂

      • Hey. Mom’s hanging in there. She’s in a skilled nursing facility now and getting an hour and a half of therapy in the mornings. Apparently she’s doing better when her kids ain’t around! Lol Since I left (gotta work, you know) they’ve got her in a wheelchair and moving around. She didn’t want to do anything when I was there, poor thing.
        I’m back on the truck, but my brother gives me daily updates.
        Thanks for asking about her.

        • That’s good news. It’s a long haul ahead for her and for you guys. Sounds as if she’s being well looked after. Keep me posted on how she’s getting on. Had the same thing a few years ago with Great Aunt Bella who was a pistol. Wonderful woman!

  11. What a quirky way to do a blog tour! It definitely caught my attention. I love Thor vs. the dinosaur. 🙂 Good Luck to Debra! She’s very lucky to have a friend who’d get in goose pooh for her. 🙂

  12. Thor got the perfect start for his journey. Your blog posts crack me up every time, CC. What a unique voice you have. Sorry to hear about the duck poop.

    I can’t wait to see what Thor and Lady Croft are about at Lisa’s place. And now when I think about it, I have the perfect monster for the Hammer man to fight. Signing up…

    As a kid I played the most with My Little Ponies and they fought evil enemies, the combs 😛 The combs would stick to their hair and trash them around. And occasionally I borrowed my brother’s He-Man figures. Teela and Evil-Lyn were my favourites.

  13. Pingback: When Thor Came To Visit - Lisa Hall-Wilson

  14. Pingback: Dear Debra Kristi – A “Dear John” Letter From Thor | Sheila Seabrook

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