What Are You Wearing?
If one woman asks another the question in quite that way, fur flies, nails rip and hair is probably pulled out by the roots, especially if that person is a sibling.
Working in an office a certain sartorial elegance is required, depending on the office. Girls on beauty counters tend to wear white uniforms, almost like medics, to sell their lotions and portions. Look at politicians, on second thoughts don’t. But you get the drift.
Now authors, us writer types and people who work from home, don’t need to bother too much about what we’re wearing while we chip away at the coalface of creativity. We roll out of bed, drag on sweatpants, uggs, a hoodie and we’re good to go. But this week I had a moment when I was sure I could be the sort of person who goes to the supermarket in their pyjamas. I actually saw a man in the supermarket with blue striped flannelette bottoms, rocking uggs, a woolly hat with a pompom on the top, matching scarf and blue duck down gilet. And no, I wasn’t wearing pj’s but I had to admire his courage. My mouth opened to ask him if he was an author but my DH caught my eye at just the right moment, the look saying ‘don’t even think about it’.
You see, I don’t get out much these days. My world is my wip and characters who are closer to me than my own kith and kin. I’ve turned into a woman with no filter when it comes to observing life and needing to know all the deets of what’s going on in the lives of perfect strangers. It’s got so bad that the family won’t let me go out alone. The ability to strike up intimate conversations with people I’ve never met is a worrying development. I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked, ‘Who was that?’ and I’ve absolutely no idea but they were lovely, poor things, because they always have issues. And issues are what we writers live for.
(Note to readers – be very careful in coffee shops – if you see a person banging on a laptop wearing earphones do not be fooled it’s an author. We have ears like cats and we hear everything. The affairs, pregnancies from aforesaid affairs, dumping a girlfriend, breaking bad/good news etc., is like gold dust to us. And my personal favourite – tears and tantrums – love them.)
Anyway, I’ve digressed. I bet you lot are wearing some of the following: leggings, jogging bottoms, thick socks, uggs, over big sweaters, layers, hoodie with fleece lining or pyjamas – COMFY clothes – am I right? However, if any of you are wearing those all-in-Onesie things then there’s no hope for you.